written by Jed Diamond

 What is a man? That should be a simple question, but many young men today don’t know the answer. Listen to the poem one young man penned:

What is a man?
Is he someone who is strong and tall,
Or is taut and talented as he plays ball?
Is he someone who is hardened and rough,
Who smokes and drinks and swears enough?
Is he someone who chases women hard,
With a quest to conquer, but never dropping his guard?
Is he someone with a good business mind,
Who gets ahead of the others with his nose to the grind?
Or is he someone who tries his best,
Not really caring about any of the rest?
What is a man? Does anyone know?
TELL ME!

Who is the prototype? To whom shall I go?

A wise man laid out Four Marks of a Real Man:

His masculinity is based on faith, not flesh. In short they are:

1. A Real Man rejects passivity.
2. A Real Man accepts responsibility
3. A Real Man leads courageously
4. A Real Man expects the greater reward.

Richard St. John says those things do not lead to success. And he should know. He spent 10 years interviewing over 500 successful people, from Martha Stewart, to actor Russell Crowe, to DNA discoverer James Watson, to the top people in many fields. After analyzing and sorting all the information, Richard discovered the top 8 factors that are the foundation for success in any field. He also discovered that many successful people aren’t especially smart, good-looking, or lucky. They’re ordinary people, without special gifts, who achieve success by following the8 factors. Richard himself is a good example. He says, “I could never figure out how an ordinary guy like me succeeded in business, won top awards and became a millionaire. So I started a project to ask other people what led to their success, and it grew into a 10-year journey of discovery.”

The story is in Richard’s book, Stupid, Ugly, Unlucky and RICH Spikes Guide to Success, an easy-to-read analysis that gets beyond the clichés to distil what the world’s most successful people really do have in common.  Author, Richard St. John is an example of “an ordinary guy” who achieved success by following the Top 8 Success Factors.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyduncFpzl4

It is out there that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.    Well, give this a listen and have a bit of a chuckle at this YouTube.
However, the men that walk through my counselling office’s door looking for change in their relationship with self and their relationships with women are definitely from Earth!
www.barbaramulskicounselling.com
604 537 5575

 Written in Seth Godin’s own words:

The Dip is a little book about quitting.

The old saying is wrong-winners do quit, and quitters do win. Every new project (or job, or hobby, or company) starts out exciting and fun. Then it gets harder and less fun, until it hits a low point-really hard, and not much fun at all.

And then you find yourself asking if the goal is even worth the hassle. Maybe you’re in a Dip-a temporary setback that will get better if you keep pushing. But maybe it’s really a Cul-de-Sac, which will never get better, no matter how hard you try.

What really sets superstars apart from everyone else is the ability to escape dead ends quickly, while staying focused and motivated when it really counts.

Winners quit fast, quit often, and quit without guilt-until they commit to beating the right Dip for the right reasons. In fact, winners seek out the Dip. They realize that the bigger the barrier, the bigger the reward for getting past it. If you can become number one in your niche, you’ll get more than your fair share of profits, glory, and long-term security.

Losers, on the other hand, fall into two basic traps. Either they fail to stick out the Dip-they get to the moment of truth and then give up-or they never even find the right Dip to conquer.

Whether you’re a graphic designer, a sales rep, an athlete, or an aspiring CEO, this fun little book will help you figure out if you’re in a Dip that’s worthy of your time, effort, and talents. If you are, The Dip will inspire you to hang tough. If not, it will help you find the courage to quit-so you can be number one at something else.

I don’t claim to have all the answers. But I will teach you how to ask the right questions.    

An editor’s review:  The one possible weakness of this otherwise terrific little volume is that it is aimed solely at people who are creative, intelligent and want to succeed. Those who are mediocre, unmotivated or just coasting through life will probably not get much from Godin. He is not an elitist, but his message is squarely aimed at those who want to succeed or at least achieve excellence.

Then he managed to find his voice, “I’m sorry,” he said, “but I just have to get this off my chest.   And, first, I want you to know I am not the type of man who ever needs help, never mind come to a counsellor for counselling!   But, I’m having nightmares, I’m not eating, in fact in the past few weeks I had four occasions where I have fainted.   I feel rejected, alone, angry and guilty.”

Patrick went on to tell me he is single and 35, had recently moved to Canada from the U.K. and had met a woman who he had been dating for the past seven months.   He quit pacing and collapsed in one of the chairs and said, “Out of the blue she dumped my ass.   And when I asked her why she says she doesn’t know.”  With his head in his hands, he said, “I can’t go on like this, especially over a woman”.   And then in a soft, small voice he whispered, “I am always the dump-ee not the dump-er”.

I am pleased to say that Patrick and I working with my balls-to-the-wall approach in counselling soon got his emotional balls back on, he got right back to the dating pond, and last month he called to say he met the woman of his dreams! 

 Too good to be true, you say?    Not on my watch! 

And, Dude, if you come to see me for help you’d better be prepared to really confront some of your personal crap that is in your own way

Read more about me:  click on ABOUT

 www.barbaramulskicounselling.com or just call 604 537 5575

*All names are fictitious, some characters are composite in nature to form an illustrative character, and any recognizable features have been changed. Any resemblance of such person(s) written about in this book to any actual person is entirely coincidental.